|COLLABORATIVE DIVORCE||LITIGATION DIVORCE|
|The couple controls the process and make final decisions.||Judge controls the process and makes final decisions.|
|The process is affordable: costs are limited.||The process is much more expensive. There can be unforeseen expenses, such as post-judgement litigation and appeals.|
|The couple determines the timing of events in a collaborative divorce.||Timing of events is dictated by the Judge.|
|The couple chooses and retains experts and specialists who can guide them in achieving MUTUALLY beneficial solutions.||Specialists and experts may be chosen and retained separately and therefore couple encounters higher expenses.|
|Collaborative lawyers brainstorm solutions that benefit both parties and their children.||Each party’s lawyer fights to win. Some litigators prefer trials to maximize their fees at the clients’ greatest expense.|
|The couple communicates openly and honestly while keeping negotiation private and confidential.||Communication is one-sided and Court -driven while information is not always private.|
|Collaborative divorce can be a healing process and provide a good divorce aftermath.||[…]
How the case Started?
- At initial consultation, Mr. C. (the husband) wanted a Collaborative Divorce. Why?
- all to no avail
- Ability to have an economic divorce starts being eroded
Loss of Control over events in your life from the Outset
- Wife responded to the Summons and Complaint with a Pendente Lite Motion
- She immediately asked for a Judge to grant her temporary relief (Child Support and Maintenance and counsel fees while case is pending)
- Husband (Mr. C.) and his attorney (me) must respond to that on paper (reminds […]
Mediation, Collaborative Divorce and the Children’s Best Interests: a Legal, Psychoanalytic Perspective
When you think that your happy marriage is coming to an end, but deep down you know that your children will be severely affected by it, you might want to consider Collaborative Divorce or Mediation first.
To avoid any misconceptions and /or confusion: collaborative divorce and mediation are not the same. However, both are protective of children and prevent a potentially destructive and traumatized experience. Other authors have called a collaborative divorce “The Good Divorce”.
Mediation is for couples who can each compete on a relatively even playing field, where there is a minimal, if any, power imbalance in their relationship. It is simpler and usually more affordable than collaborative, but it is also a child-friendly option like collaborative.
Mediation does not require each party to hire his/her own divorce lawyer but, instead, one neutral mediator facilitates a negotiation between the parties to reach a meeting of the minds for settlement. If the mediator is also an attorney, then the mediator can also draft the Separation Agreement.
Collaborative divorce is for couples who may have a significant power imbalance in their relationship, and who still want to avoid a bitter contested divorce fought in Court. Like mediation, a collaborative divorce considers the needs […]
Settle Maintenance (Alimony) before December 31 of this year:
Are you hurt because your spouse cheated on you? That triggers a divorce for many people. If you have been hurt this way, it is perfectly understandable if you are considering a divorce.
Earlier this year a marriage counselor recommended that a woman, living in an affluent suburb of Westchester County, contact me to help her with a Postnuptial Agreement. Although her husband cheated on her, she did not want a legal separation or a divorce. In fact, she was optimistic that her marriage could be saved and that a Postnuptial Agreement could help her accomplish that.
What is a Postnuptial Agreement? It is similar to a Prenuptial Agreement except that instead of making it prior to the marriage, it is made after the marriage. Both Agreements are similar in that they commonly provide for the following in the event of a divorce : (a) protect the existing assets and future acquired inheritances and gifts of each party so they are not shared with their spouse; (b) define what the marital assets will be and how they will be divided; and (c) address the issue of maintenance (alimony). Unlike a Prenuptial Agreement, a Postnuptial Agreement might also address custody, visitation and […]