Arnold Cribari Blog

EL DIVORCIO MAS ECONOMICO

Desconocido para muchas parejas divorciadas, es posible haber un divorcio con un solo abogado y sin corte, que es el divorcio más económico.

Si echo propiamente, estos divorcios con un solo abogado son también justos y razonables, y ejecutables.

Divorcio en la mesa de la cocina utilizando un mediador neutral

Un “divorcio en la mesa de la cocina”, o llamado “divorcio Starbucks”, ocurre cuando una pareja negocia los terminos del acuerdo de su proprio divorcio (cerca de la mesa de la cocina o a lo Starbucks) sin algún abogado involucrado , y luego un abogado es contratado para redactar el acuerdo de separación o acuerdo de asentamiento marital.

En mi opinión, la forma mejor para hacer este divorcio “en la mesa de la cocina” es para la pareja, después de sus negociaciones privadas, de llegar juntos y contratar un abogado de divorcio que puede servir como un mediador neutral, y que redactará luego el acuerdo de asentamiento marital. Es muy probable que cada esposo tenga confianza en el abogado si encuentra y contrata el abogado juntos, y después discute con el abogado el acuerdo según los términos establecidos.

Cuando el abogado sirve como mediador neutral, el/ella representa ninguna de las partes, pero permanece neutral […]

PIENSA A LA MEDIACION O AL DIVORCIO COLABORATIVO EN PRIMER LUGAR CUANDO CONSIDERA UN DIVORCIO

Hay una cierta confusión sobre las preferencias que concierne el proceso de divorcio que quiero clarificar. La mediación del divorcio y el divorcio colaborativo son las opciones mejores de considerar para muchas parejas que se están divorciando.

La mediación funciona fabulosamente para las parejas que tienen aproximativamente un equilibrio de poder igual en su relación, y es la más económica de las preferencias del proceso de divorcio. En la mediación del divorcio tradicional, cada esposo representa a si mismo en las negociaciones que son facilitadas para un mediador neutral de divorcio.

El divorcio colaborativo es una forma de mediación. Está orientado a casos más difíciles cuando hay un equilibrio de poder desigual en la relación de la pareja. Cada esposo tiene su propio abogado formado colaborativamente, que pueden capacitar, aconsejar y defender su cliente para corregir tal desequilibrio de poder, y negociar sobre un campo de nivelado,

En ambos la mediación y el divorcio colaborativo, es importante que cada esposo declara sus propias necesidades y intereses a la máxima extensión, en una forma respetable, y revela información financiaría relevante en buena fe.

Muchos abogados de divorcio no recomiendan la mediación o el divorcio colaborativo PORQUE NO PUEDEN GANAR CASI TAL DINERO HACIENDO DE […]

Support Guidelines: New York Divorce Mediator’s Best Friend

Why are the New York maintenance (alimony) and child support guidelines of the State of New York a divorce mediator’s best friend?

The New York State legislature created the maintenance and child support guidelines in order to make the amounts of support more uniform throughout New York State. This is a very good thing for a divorcing couple, their children, and society.

Many of my divorce lawyer colleagues are critical of these support guidelines. At a cocktail party they might tell me that such guidelines result in simple minded calculations that are unjust or unfair to one or both parties. The real reason they are so critical is that the guidelines help reduce divorce litigation and attorneys’ fees.

Another very good thing about the support guidelines is that in order to make a binding maintenance and child support agreement in New York, the guidelines calculations must be set forth in the agreement. Then the parties agree to either follow the guidelines calculations, or deviate from them, and if so, state the reasons for such deviation. This makes the divorcing couple think twice about agreeing to such a deviation.

My goal as a New York divorce mediator or collaborative divorce lawyer is to help […]

New York Divorce: Choose Your Divorce Lawyer Carefully

Are you a New York State resident considering a divorce? Buyer beware! As mentioned in my last blog, if your divorce is not a genuine emergency, avoid the Charon-like* divorce lawyer who will unnecessarily subject you to the tortures of the damned at your great expense.

The good news is that there are other New York divorce lawyers who take a different approach. At the initial consultation, they will explain all of the divorce process choices including mediation and collaborative law.

Instead of unnecessarily rushing off to divorce court, these peacemakers will help you make an out of court divorce settlement consistent with your reasonable needs and interests, and those of your children and spouse. Not only will such a divorce settlement save you tons of money, it will also greatly increase your chances of having a good aftermath to your divorce, which could be a priceless benefit. Think about this: how important is it for your children to know their parents do not hate each other when they attend graduations, weddings and births of grandchildren in the decades to come? How important is this for you?

Besides settling your divorce, a mediator or collaborative […]

New York Divorce: Don’t Start by Filing in Court

In New York State, only divorces involving genuine emergencies should start by filing in Court.

In Greek mythology “Charon” is a mercenary ferryman who takes deceased souls across the river Styx through the gates of Hell. Charon also happens to be the larger of the two moons orbiting the planet Pluto. Being both a New York divorce lawyer and an astronomy buff, I have wondered: does my occupation make me similar to Charon? Indeed, many people will tell you that going through a divorce in the New York State court system is Hell.

That said, whether a divorce lawyer is Charon-incarnate hinges on how he or she practices their profession!

A Charon-like divorce lawyer will try to capitalize on the client’s matrimonial misfortune by unnecessarily and immediately filing the case in Court. This is done to justify payment of a five-figure retainer. Such a lawyer will say this filing in Court is how all divorces begin.

The truth is that only divorces involving genuine emergencies require immediate court intervention. Such emergencies include serious domestic violence or the threat of it, willful refusal to pay for the vital financial needs of a spouse or children, or some […]

DIVORCIO: PIENSA DOS VECES ANTE DE IRSE A LA CORTE DE DIVORCIO

Un divorcio contencioso es comparable a una operación en el campo médico. Ambos el divorcio contencioso y la operación son graves, costosas, estresantes y extremamente riesgosas.

Cuando posible, médicos responsables aconsejan las alternativas meno riesgosas de la cirugía como la fisioterapia o la medicina. Igualmente, cuando se trata de divorcio, los abogados de divorcio responsables aconsejarán un acuerdo mediante el divorcio colaborativo o la mediación en lugar de irse a través del sistema de la corte.

Un divorcio contencioso podría ser peor de una operación. A diferencia de una operación, donde la mayoría, sino todas las expensas son solitamente cubiertas para el seguro médico, no existe un seguro tal que cubre los precios de un divorcio contencioso. A diferencia de una operación, donde los profesionales médicos siempre trabajan en equipo para favorecer la sanación, los abogados de los divorcios contenciosos cada uno de ellos hacen lo mejor posible para agredir, desprestigiar, y destruir unos los otros y también el otro esposo. Y ¿Cuantas operaciones tardan entre dos y tres semanas- como un típico divorcio contencioso? A diferencia de una operación, ¡no hay anestésico en un divorcio contencioso para aliviar el dolor!

Pero no me malinterpreten. Alguna vez, si las circunstancias y las […]

Minimizing the Damages for the Primary Breadwinner in a New York Divorce

In most, but not all, divorces, one spouse is the primary breadwinner and earns most of the family income, and the other spouse is the primary care-giver of the children.

Assuming the spouse focusing on the children is doing a good job, that spouse has the right to receive substantial maintenance and child support when a New York divorce court applies the support guidelines formulas.

What can the New York divorce lawyer do for the primary breadwinner client?
1. Consider an out of court divorce settlement process such as divorce mediation or collaborative divorce if the facts warrant the use of such a settlement process. Such settlement processes are almost always substantially more economical than litigation and a trial, and are better for tailoring a settlement consistent with needs and interests.

2. If a substantial part of the primary breadwinner’s income is in the form of a variable annual bonus, then structure the support obligations as follows:
a. calculate the maintenance and child support based on the primary breadwinner’s salary; and
b. recommend that the primary breadwinner pay a percentage, not a fixed sum, of the variable annual bonus as supplemental maintenance. The specific percentage depends on the facts of the case.

3. Justify […]

Collaborative Divorce and Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs

On December 7, 2017, Pauline Tesler, Esq., a California lawyer who has been a pioneer in collaborative divorce practice, gave a presentation before the New York Association of Collaborative professionals entitled “The Art and Craft of Deep Peace.”
During that presentation, Pauline shared Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs (“Maslow’s Pyramid”). In the context of a divorce, Maslow’s Pyramid breaks down the various needs that a spouse going through a divorce may have:

Maslow pyramid

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

At the base of Maslow’s Pyramid are basic needs. Basic needs include physiological needs (food, water, warmth, rest) and safety needs (security, safety). The “snake brain” is the part of the human brain hell-bent to satisfy those needs. When basic needs are threatened, they trump all other needs higher up on Maslow’s Pyramid. The snake brain is the most primitive part of the human brain. When something triggers the snake brain, the response is: fight, flight, or play dead, just like a snake. Nothing else matters. The snake brain has not a scintilla of compassion or empathy.

If someone is being deprived of such basic needs, there is an emergency and time is of the essence. Unless a potentially life-threatening situation […]

NY Maintenance Guidelines in High Income Cases: The Wild West

For New York divorce cases commenced since January 23, 2016, a maintenance (alimony) guidelines formula will usually be applied to determine the amount and duration of maintenance. Schedule a consultation with me and I can calculate the amount and duration of maintenance following your divorce by applying a formula in this new statute to the facts of your case.

This new law, now only 20 months old, is embryonic. To date, there has not been enough time for high income divorce cases with maintenance issues to go to trial, and for aggrieved litigants to file appeals and for such appeals to be decided by appellate courts. There are no New York appellate court decisions interpreting this new statute at this time. As one of my attorney colleagues recently told me, divorce court is like the Wild West when he makes arguments in high income maintenance cases.

What happens when a spouse earns income that exceeds the current $178,000 statutory income cap? The statute says that the NY maintenance guidelines formula should only be applied to income up to $178,000, but gives the Judge discretion to apply general “statutory factors” (like marital standard of living, […]

Divorcing Parents in Westchester County, NY: Meet Your Child’s Needs — Choose Collaborative Divorce or Mediation

With April being Autism Awareness Month, I am reminded that – for a divorcing couple who has a child with special needs – a collaborative divorce offers the best way for the parents to come to an agreement on addressing the needs of the child.

About ten years ago, I worked on a collaborative divorce in Westchester County in which the couple had two children, one of whom had been diagnosed on the autism spectrum. I represented the husband, and another collaborative attorney, “Lisa,” represented the wife.

The parties were having heated arguments about parental decision-making.

The defining moment in the case occurred at a four-way settlement conference when, after a few niceties were exchanged, the wife suddenly lashed out at the husband, exclaiming how upset she was at his criticism of her decision-making with respect to their child, and the various therapies she wanted him to undergo.

Specifically, she accused her husband of telling her that – if she wants the child involved in certain programs to treat his autism and the child becomes labeled “handicapped”— then it will be “on her”(her responsibility) for “ruining the child’s life.” The husband then expressed his strong feelings in his own defense.

At this point Lisa […]