Affordable divorce Archives - Westchester Divorce Lawyer

Choosing an Affordable New York divorce lawyer

Choosing a divorce lawyer isn’t just a legal decision—it’s a personal one. In many ways, it’s similar to choosing a doctor. You’re trusting someone to guide you through a difficult process, minimize your stress, and help you avoid unnecessary emotional and financial pain. New York divorce lawyers don’t come cheap. However, their hourly rates are wide-ranging: from $300 to $1,200 per hour, and their retainers are based on their estimate of how many hours the project will require. If you want the biggest fire-breathing dragon of a New York divorce lawyer, expect to pay at the high end of those hourly rates, and for the maximum number of hours for the lawyer’s services. I know of one Westchester County divorce lawyer with the reputation of a courtroom warrior. He charges $1,200 per hour and a minimum retainer of $30,000. Clearly, only the most affluent clients can afford that, and that … Read More...

Choosing a Divorce Lawyer

Choosing a divorce lawyer is similar to looking for a doctor. You want a professional who will help you avoid unnecessary pain and expense. In my more than four decades of experience as a New York divorce lawyer, I have found that few of my clients would have benefited from a litigated divorce (that is a divorce through the court system). Until they came to me, many of them were unaware that they would be better served by a collaborative divorce or mediation. In my initial meeting with a client, I think of myself as a diagnostician. Like a good doctor, I listen carefully and ask questions to deepen and broaden my understanding of the client’s unique set of circumstances. Avoid Unnecessary Stress and Costs A good doctor will recommend surgery only when other less drastic measures (e.g. physical therapy, diet, medication) haven’t worked, or just aren’t feasible. Likewise, good … Read More...

The Divorce Process: Begin with the End in Mind

When meeting with a new divorce client, I encourage them to think about what they want in a good long-term outcome. In the words of the late management guru Stephen Covey, best-selling author of The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, “Begin with the End in Mind.” Starting the process of divorce can be scary In fact, stress can overwhelm the brain at this time. Anxiety triggers the fight or flight nervous system response, impairing cognitive function. When you’re experiencing anxiety and a plethora of other feelings (e.g. hurt, anger, disappointment, guilt, betrayal, or even shame), it is virtually impossible to think long-term. Apply emotional intelligence to your divorce process However, I do not tell clients to leave their feelings out of the process. Instead, I recommend that they work with a good mental health professional to help them process their feelings; this enables them to apply both their rational … Read More...

Choosing a Divorce Attorney: Why Hire a Settlement Professional?

If your goal is a good divorce settlement, it makes sense to choose an attorney with skills, training and experience in getting good settlements. Why would you go to a trial lawyer? If you had a heart problem, would you go to an orthopedist? Divorce settlement negotiations are different from pretrial negotiations Most lawyers are trained in adversarial trial tactics; they bring those tactics to the negotiating table. My early training as a divorce lawyer followed this antagonistic model. After years as a divorce attorney, I could see that our adversarial court system is not set up to support a reasonable, non-combative approach to dissolving a marriage. So, I decided to get some training in collaborative divorce and mediation. It was eye-opening! I had to unlearn much of what I thought I knew about settlement negotiations. Indeed, see my recent blog about how an attorney who spent a lot of … Read More...

Looking for a Divorce Attorney, and Want to Avoid Court?

If you are on the threshold of a divorce in New York, and you hope to have a divorce out-of-court settlement, you will want a New York divorce attorney who concentrates exclusively on mediation and collaborative divorce. Different Mindsets: Mediator vs. Litigator Divorce lawyers who are in court a lot are influenced by the arguing and combative language they use in court. Such arguments and contentious language are best avoided when working to achieve an out-of-court settlement. Attorneys who dedicate their practice to mediation and collaborative divorce use communication skills that facilitate coming to an agreement. They make a positive connection with both spouses, demonstrating that they understand what is most important to them in resolving their issues. Buyer Beware When looking for divorce attorney, and want to avoid court, ask if their practice is focused exclusively on collaborative and mediation. Just because an attorney calls themselves a “collaborative lawyer” … Read More...

Affordable New York Divorce: Get a Mediation Friendly Divorce Attorney

Let’s say you have made the wise decision to divorce via mediation. All ethical and professional divorce mediators will encourage each spouse to consult with his/her own separate review attorney, at least before signing off on a final divorce settlement agreement. One of my areas of expertise is serving as a mediation friendly review attorney for a spouse during a New York divorce mediation. Why a “mediation friendly” attorney? It is important for the review attorney to be mediation friendly as well as well-versed in New York divorce law. That is because it’s imperative that the client get good legal advice while still optimizing the chances that the couple make an out of court settlement. If the review attorney is too aggressive, like some New York divorce litigators, the mediation can be torpedoed with the spouses ending up in court at their considerable expense. Typically, this review process begins when … Read More...

The Best Attorney for an Out-of-Court Divorce Settlement

If you are on the threshold of a divorce, and you hope to avoid an expensive ordeal in court, you will want an attorney who concentrates exclusively on mediation and collaborative divorce. Divorce lawyers who are in court a lot are influenced by the arguing and combative language they use in court. Such arguments and contentious language are best avoided when working to achieve an out-of-court settlement. Attorneys trained in mediation and collaborative divorce use communication skills that facilitate coming to an agreement. Lawyers who focus on collaborative divorce and mediation practice active listening skills, and they help the divorcing spouses to identify their needs and interests and those of their children. They make a positive connection with both spouses, demonstrating that they understand what is most important to them in resolving their issues. Attorneys who spend a lot of time in court bring a conflict-oriented mindset to settlement negotiations. … Read More...

Affordable New York Divorce: Part 2

In a prior blog post, I began sharing my thoughts on how to bring about an affordable New York divorce. As stated in the prior post, the first step is to use an out-of-court settlement process. In addition to divorce mediation and collaborative divorce, another out-of-court settlement process for divorcing couples is a kitchen table or “Starbucks divorce.” This means that they simply meet (maybe even in a public place like Starbucks), ideally after consulting with knowledgeable mediation-friendly divorce lawyers. Then, the couple, themselves, respectfully negotiate their own terms for a divorce settlement. After they have agreed on terms, they can go to a divorce lawyer to draft the settlement agreement and uncontested divorce papers. (A kitchen table or Starbucks divorce is rarely mentioned by lawyers because there is a lot less money in it for the lawyer.) Below are other things that I offer divorcing couples to help them … Read More...

Affordable New York Divorce

Believe it or not, it is possible to have an affordable New York divorce, and my mission is to help people that need the services of a divorce lawyer, to obtain such services at a reasonable cost and with limited disruption in their lives. My law practice is organized specifically to help people achieve these goals. This includes low overhead, because I pay no rent – I work from my Yorktown Heights, NY, home office. I pass this savings on to my clients – I have a lower hourly rate than most divorce attorneys. Moreover, I am committed to settling divorces, whenever possible, because divorce litigation can drive up the costs of a New York divorce monumentally. Not every case can be settled, so there is a need for ethical, competent divorce litigators. However, I have chosen at this time in my life, to retire from divorce litigation and focus … Read More...

A Primary Care Divorce Lawyer

Guest blog by Shawn Kennedy Cribari We all know what a primary care physician is. What is a primary care divorce lawyer? I have been married for 44 years to an unusual New York divorce and family law attorney. (I’ll spare you the jokes about him not believing in his own product.) He and I were musing the other day, trying to come up with a label that defines his distinctive philosophy and practice. “You’re the guy people go to when they want to avoid the courtroom, if at all possible. You’re all about preventing unnecessary suffering and expense,” I said. “It’s like going to a doctor who advises against unnecessary surgery.” Hence, the term “primary care divorce lawyer.” Arnold Cribari works in an array of out-of-court divorce settlement processes: • Mediation • Collaborative Divorce • Settlement negotiation via legal action • A hybrid of some or all of the … Read More...