Westchester Divorce Lawyer – Arnold D. Cribari

Affordable New York Divorce

Believe it or not, it is possible to have an affordable New York divorce, and my mission is to help people that need the services of a divorce lawyer, to obtain such services at a reasonable cost and with limited disruption in their lives. My law practice is organized specifically to help people achieve these goals. This includes low overhead, because I pay no rent – I work from my Yorktown Heights, NY, home office. I pass this savings on to my clients – I have a lower hourly rate than most divorce attorneys. Moreover, I am committed to settling divorces, whenever possible, because divorce litigation can drive up the costs of a New York divorce monumentally. Not every case can be settled, so there is a need for ethical, competent divorce litigators. However, I have chosen at this time in my life, to retire from divorce litigation and focus … Read More...

New York Divorce: Choose Your Divorce Lawyer Carefully

Are you a New York State resident considering a divorce? Buyer beware! Unfortunately, there are some New York divorce attorneys who will exacerbate conflict and thereby generate higher fees and other expenses. The good news is that there are New York divorce lawyers who can keep your divorce from becoming a protracted conflict that will deplete your assets.  These attorneys have significant training and experience in mediation and collaborative divorce. At your initial consultation, they will explain these more economical options for dissolving your marriage. Instead of unnecessarily rushing off to divorce court, these attorneys will help you make an out-of-court divorce settlement consistent with your reasonable needs and interests, and those of your children and spouse. Not only will such a divorce settlement save you tons of money, it will also greatly increase your chances of having a good aftermath to your divorce. Think about this: how important is … Read More...

Cribari and Cribari

My late uncle, Wolfe Cribari, was a legend in the Westchester County law community. I was only 15 years old when he died in 1966, so we never interacted as lawyers when I became a divorce and family law attorney in the late 1970s.  I really only knew my uncle as a great trial lawyer by reputation and a larger than life personality. His Ivy League post-graduate education was unique among his nine siblings, who were the children of Italian immigrants. Consequently, he was revered by his brothers and sisters – by my father in particular. My choice of a career in law was inspired – in part – by my uncle’s legend. My memories of Wolfe, however, had nothing to do with his law career. I remember him from family gatherings. My most vivid memory is of his wonderful singing voice. One evening at my grandmother’s house when I … Read More...

A Primary Care Divorce Lawyer

Guest blog by Shawn Kennedy Cribari We all know what a primary care physician is. What is a primary care divorce lawyer? I have been married for 44 years to an unusual New York divorce and family law attorney. (I’ll spare you the jokes about him not believing in his own product.) He and I were musing the other day, trying to come up with a label that defines his distinctive philosophy and practice. “You’re the guy people go to when they want to avoid the courtroom, if at all possible. You’re all about preventing unnecessary suffering and expense,” I said. “It’s like going to a doctor who advises against unnecessary surgery.” Hence, the term “primary care divorce lawyer.” Arnold Cribari works in an array of out-of-court divorce settlement processes: • Mediation • Collaborative Divorce • Settlement negotiation via legal action • A hybrid of some or all of the … Read More...

When Divorcing a Narcissist: Part 2

This is a continuation of my prior blog on the dos and don’ts of divorcing a narcissist. A collaborative divorce can be an effective method for divorce from a narcissist because there are conflict resolution professionals involved in the process.  This may seem counterintuitive, but collaborative doesn’t mean you cave to the demands of the narcissist. Attorneys with conflict resolution training can bring artful negotiating skills into the process. Very few litigation-oriented attorneys have conflict resolution training.  Moreover, when utilizing the collaborative interdisciplinary model (i.e. including mental health professionals as coaches) you have four professionals involved who have finely honed communication skills. Narcissists Have Blind Spots Micki McWade, LCSW, a collaborative divorce coach and licensed psychotherapist says, narcissists need reassurance because they have blind spots that prevent them from perceiving the situation rationally. Moreover, they are incapable of understanding that their spouse has legitimate needs and concerns that differ from … Read More...

When You’re Divorcing from a Narcissist – Part 1

When one of the spouses in a divorce is a narcissist, negotiations are especially challenging. As a member of the New York Association of Collaborative Professionals (NYACP), I have the benefit of learning from colleagues on a regular basis. At a recent NYACP meeting, Micki McWade, LCSW, gave a presentation on Narcissism and Addiction as Common Themes in Marriage that Lead to Divorce. A licensed psychotherapist, Ms. McWade is also a divorce coach, i.e. a mental health professional who provides support and advice to a divorcing spouse.  For more about divorce coaches, click here: https://www.westchesterdivorcelawyer.com/divorce-coaches-in-collaborative-divorce/ At the outset, it is important to keep in mind that Ms. McWade said that we all have some degree of narcissism. Also, I have found that many people with little knowledge or experience in dealing with narcissism, rush to judgement and are quick to label their spouse as a narcissist. The purpose here is not … Read More...

A Good Divorce Aftermath

After practicing matrimonial law for almost 45 years, I’ve come to the following realization: a good divorce aftermath is priceless, and an interdisciplinary collaborative divorce is the best way to obtain such an aftermath. Why is that? If a divorcing couple has children, guess who will be at their children’s future graduations, confirmations, bar mitzvas, weddings, the birth of the divorcing couple’s grandchildren, and the grandchildren’s graduations, confirmations, bar mitzvas and weddings? The answer – which many unenlightened spouses and divorce lawyers lose sight of – is obvious. If you are considering a divorce, please keep in mind that your future former spouse is the other parent of your children and will continue to be an important part of their lives – and, consequently, your life. Why is an interdisciplinary collaborative divorce the best way to achieve this priceless aftermath? First, collaborative divorce professionals have undergone intensive collaborative and mediation … Read More...

Divorce in the Time of Omicron

The surging Omicron variant of the Coronavirus is causing us to retreat into early pandemic-mode. If you’re a New York State resident considering a divorce at this time, you may have concerns about in-person meetings and court hearings. Mediated divorces and collaborative divorces can be handled safely, contagious variant notwithstanding. Having mastered Zoom in the early stage of the pandemic, I can assure you that it’s possible to conduct negotiations virtually in a New York divorce. Indeed, one positive thing to come out of the pandemic is that – with the now common use of virtual meeting technology — the two spouses and the attorney(s) involved in a divorce settlement process needn’t be in close geographic proximity to negotiate a settlement. Even divorce papers can be executed and signed by a notary using virtual technology. However, for those who prefer in-person meetings, I have a large conference room in my … Read More...

Divorce and the Loss of a Job

Let’s say you are the primary breadwinner in your family and are confronted with both a divorce and the loss of a job.  This is not uncommon during the Coronavirus crisis. The good news is there are steps you can take to protect yourself legally, and avoid the nightmare scenario. What is the nightmare scenario?  When the Judge in your divorce case imputes an  income to you substantially higher than what  you are currently earning for purposes of determining maintenance (alimony) and child support.  This happens when the Judge believes that a spouse is attempting to avoid his/her support obligations, or otherwise has a higher earning ability than the amount of actual income. What can you do to avoid this nightmare scenario? First, don’t quit if you still have a job.  You are much better off if, in a Judge’s eyes, you are laid off or furloughed so the job … Read More...

Collaborative Divorce and Passive Resistance

In the wake of the moving funeral service of Congressman John Lewis and the inspiring eulogy delivered by President Obama, it occurred to me that the concept of passive resistance can apply in a collaborative divorce. Then, it occurred to me that an ideal mindset to have in a collaborative divorce when confronted with a spouse who is persistently unreasonable is: “Respectable Non-Violent Assertiveness and Resistance.” Respectfulness:  A commitment, required by the Collaborative Code of Conduct and Participation Agreement. Non-Violence:  A necessity, in our actions and our words to feel safe physically and emotionally, for the collaborative divorce process to work. Assertiveness: The collaborative process works best when each party asserts, to the maximum extent, his/her needs and interests in a respectful manner.  Assertiveness is comparable to peaceful protest, speaking out and not shying away from “good trouble” as Representative John Lewis would say. Resistance:  My approximately 20 years of … Read More...