Westchester Divorce Lawyer – Arnold D. Cribari

Category: Divorce Mediation

Divorce Coaches in Collaborative Divorce

Collaborative divorce is interdisciplinary: lawyers, mental health professionals and financial experts work together. Divorce coaches are mental health professionals that are often included on the collaborative team. Instead of providing in-depth therapy, they enhance communication and help resolve disputes by using their active listening skills. Their skills help reduce conflict and stress. The verse below explains the role of divorce coaches in collaborative divorces: To help us all communicate, coaches are brought in Coaches also help us handle emotional whirlwinds They are the best of peacemakers who give this wise advice: Get your needs met in a settlement At trial you roll the dice. © Arnold D. Cribari 2015

Choosing a Divorce Attorney: Why Hire a Settlement Professional?

You probably have more experience dealing with doctors than with divorce lawyers. You may find this analogy helpful. If you had a heart problem, you wouldn’t go to an orthopedist. If your goal is a good divorce settlement, then, why would you go to a trial lawyer? It makes more sense to choose an attorney with skills, training and experience in getting good settlements. In our medical analogy, a divorce trial is comparable to surgery. Surgery is risky, stressful and expensive. You don’t undergo surgery unless it’s absolutely necessary. A collaborative divorce is comparable to the medical approach to a problem. When dealing with an illness, usually the least risky treatment is recommended. Going to court is risky. Over my 30-plus-year care as a divorce lawyer, I have told countless clients, “Get your needs met in a settlement. At trial you roll the dice.” When confronted with a divorce, think … Read More...

Divorce via Mediation or Collaborative Practice: A Gift to Yourself

A priceless benefit that a divorcing couple can give to their children – and to themselves – is a mediated or collaborative divorce. Having just spent a delightful Father’s Day with my family, I was moved by an essay I read in TIME magazine by Susanna Schrobsdorff: “Happy Father’s Day to my ex-husband (really).” Eight years after her divorce, Schrobsdorff shares the hard-earned wisdom that “the kids need both of you. If you are lucky, you will be sitting next to this person [your ex-spouse] at graduations, weddings, baby showers and, yes, funerals for the rest of your lives. There is no divorce from the kinds of celebrations and crisis situations that require both of you to show up for your children and each other.” Divorce is painful and difficult, but it doesn’t have to be toxic. No matter how hurt and angry you are, you don’t have to let … Read More...

Divorce: Think Twice Before Going to Divorce Court

A divorce trial is comparable to an operation in the medical field. Both the divorce trial and the operation are serious, expensive, stressful and extremely risky. Whenever possible, responsible physicians recommend less risky alternatives than surgery like physical therapy or medicine. Likewise, when it comes to divorce, responsible divorce attorneys will recommend a settlement through collaborative divorce or mediation, rather than going through the court system. A divorce trial could turn out worse than an operation. Unlike an operation where most, if not all, of the expense is commonly covered by insurance, there is no such thing as insurance to cover the cost of a divorce trial. Unlike an operation, where the medical professionals almost always work as a team to promote healing, the divorce trial lawyers are each doing their best to attack, discredit and destroy each other as well as the other spouse. And how many operations take … Read More...

THINK MEDIATION OR COLLABORATIVE DIVORCE FIRST WHEN CONSIDERING A DIVORCE

There is some confusion about divorce process choices I want to clear up. Divorce mediation and collaborative divorce are the best options to consider for most divorcing couples. Mediation works great for couples who have an approximately equal balance of power in their relationship, and is the most economical of the divorce process choices.  In traditional divorce mediation, each spouse represents himself/herself in their negotiations that are facilitated by one neutral divorce mediator. Collaborative divorce is a form of mediation.  It is geared to more difficult cases where there is an unequal balance of power in the couple’s relationship.  Each spouse has his/her own collaboratively trained attorney, who can empower, advise and advocate for his/her client to correct any such power imbalances, and negotiate on an even playing field. In both mediation and collaborative divorce, it is important that each spouse asserts his/her needs and interests to the maximum extent, … Read More...