Westchester Divorce Lawyer – Arnold D. Cribari

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Collaborative Divorce: Avoid Nuclear Option

T. Boone Pickens knows a thing or two about preserving financial assets. He is one of many financially savvy individuals who have decided on Collaborative Divorce, rather than the “nuclear option” of a court-based divorce. An article on CNBC.com cites Pickens as having saved millions of dollars by choosing the Collaborative Divorce Process. The CNBC article is actually an excellent, comprehensive introduction to collaborative divorce. Having been a practicing collaborative attorney for a dozen years, I take issue with just one point in the article that says collaborative divorce is not good for couples with power imbalances. The collaborative process – in the hands of skilled collaborative attorneys –– mitigates power imbalances. It is the goal of each attorney in the collaborative process to empower his or her client to assert their needs and concerns to the maximum extent in a respectful way. Collaborative can be a fluid process: if … Read More...

Beat the System in a Divorce

© Arnold D. Cribari, 2015 If you want to beat the system in a divorce and save a lot of money, a collaborative divorce or mediation is the way to go. You can “cut to the chase;” skip going to court and avoid paying for monumental hours of your lawyer’s time in preparation for court. Get to the heart of a settlement discussion early in the process. Here’s how it works. You and your spouse meet together with both of your attorneys, arrange for necessary financial disclosure and start a four-way conversation about settlement. This obviates the need for unnecessary financial disclosure, legal motions, court appearances – and the thousands of dollars in lawyers’ fees generated by all of that paperwork and courtroom presentations. In the collaborative process, both you and your spouse have your own attorneys. Your collaborative attorney is your ally and will make sure that you are … Read More...

Why choose a collaborative divorce?

As a divorce attorney, I have been part of the collaborative divorce movement for 12 years. Before that, I spent 25 years in the adversarial divorce system. Over the past 14 years – since collaborative began in New York State – collaborative has been gaining a reputation as the less stressful, less costly, way to divorce. Yet it astonishes me that many people still choose to go the adversarial route; many of those divorces escalate into monumental messes. I wish there were a way to persuade people that – even in high conflict divorces – revenge on your spouse is not in your best interest. In New York State, there are legal guidelines for distribution of assets, maintenance, child support, etc. Fighting for demands beyond those legal guidelines can be a great adrenaline rush. Your attorney may even succeed in getting your spouse to cave on some of those issues. … Read More...

Collaborating When Litigating a Divorce. An Oxymoron?

Recently, another divorce attorney made a profound comment about the practice of divorce law: “So many litigations settle before trial, I consider my litigated cases to be another opportunity to collaborate. In fact, I see them as another form of collaborative.” What a revolutionary idea! This attorney and I were on opposite sides of a very intensely litigated divorce. Like most divorce cases, it settled before trial. Both of us brought our collaborative skills to the negotiations, and we both had a collaborative attitude. Despite the hotly contested issues in the case, we were able to collaborate to the extent that the divorcing couple, the Judge and the circumstances made it possible do so. We were able to preserve more of the couple’s financial resources than would have been possible if the case had gone to trial, followed by the inevitable appeal. When it is necessary for a divorce litigator … Read More...

Co-Parenting and Collaborative Divorce

Co-parenting during the holidays is often fraught with difficulty, even many years after a divorce. For couples who choose to divorce the collaborative way, however, the stress of the “holiday shuffle” is reduced, if not eliminated. The collaborative process allows the divorcing couple to structure a holiday plan for the children tailored to the needs of their specific situation. Because both parents have played an active role in the process – working in partnership with each other and their attorneys – both parents have a sense of ownership of the holiday plan. They are less likely to resist it or try to undermine it each year when the holidays come along. Moreover, some flexibility can be incorporated into the plan when negotiating collaboratively. This points out one of the most important reasons to consider a collaborative divorce. When a couple has had children together, there is going to have to … Read More...

Avoiding a “Fiscal Cliff” Divorce

I remember hearing Diane Sawyer once say that “Every marriage is a foreign country.” I could not agree more. When I look around at all of my married friends and family members, the elements that shape the basis of each relationship and make it “tick” are so completely unique to each couple. It is this uniqueness that makes the concept of formally ending marriages within a uniformly structured legal system so challenging.