This was inspired by, and written in honor of, the “I Have a Dream” speech of Dr. Martin Luther King Jr., the great work he did in the civil rights movement in the 1960s, and the great work collaborative divorce professionals do today:
We have a dream – that divorce lawyers of all kinds remember at all times the words of the Great Emancipator, President Abraham Lincoln, who wrote the following in a note for a law lecture in 1850:
“Discourage litigation. Persuade your neighbors to compromise whenever you can. Point out to them how the nominal winner is often a real loser – in fees, expenses and waste of time. As a peacemaker, the lawyer has a superior opportunity of being a good person. There will still be business enough. Never stir up litigation. A worse person can scarcely be found than one who does this.”
We have a dream – that it will become common knowledge that a collaborative divorce is the best way for most divorcing couples to respectfully resolve their conflicts and disputes.
We have a dream – that divorce lawyers and professionals throughout the world will see the light and will explain the collaborative process to all prospective clients so they understand it and consider it as an option.
We have a dream – that every divorcing couple will know that the collaborative process gives them the opportunity to be engaged and in control, to the maximum extent possible, during the process; and make a safe and orderly transition when they divorce.
We have a dream – that all potential divorce clients will have an opportunity to make an informed decision whether to collaborate, mediate or litigate their divorce.
We have a dream – that all divorce clients will know that they have been listened to with compassion and empathy at all times and fully understood.
We have a dream – that divorce trial lawyers will work hard – to resolve all issues that can be resolved before trial, go to trial only when necessary, and when they do, have fair trials where all of the relevant facts are presented to the judge through witnesses and other evidence to achieve equity and justice.
We have a dream – that all divorce professionals and their clients will think of alimony and child support as sacred money – that keeps the payors as well as the payees, and their children, alive and well.
We have a dream – that all clients, collaborative professionals, litigators and Judges alike, will be of one mind when it comes to the custody of children, and that is: to do everything in their power to give them a voice, understand them, protect them, minimize their stress and maximize their well-being.
This is the hope of committed collaborative divorce professionals. This is their faith. With this faith they will be able to “hew out of the mountain of despair (in divorce cases) a stone of hope.” With this faith they will be able to transform the way people of all different races and religions resolve conflicts and disputes in divorce cases.
And so, let collaboration ring – where multitudes live in the great metropolises from Los Angeles to New York City.
Let collaboration ring – in the small towns and fertile farm lands of Middle America.
Let collaboration ring – from the great redwood forests of Northern California to the beaches and warm ocean waters of Southern Florida.
And when this happens, when we let collaboration ring everywhere, then we will be able to speed up that day when divorce lawyers will be regarded as being in a healing profession, who take an oath to do their best “to do no harm,” and help all divorcing couples make a safe and orderly transition for their families that brings: “Peace at Last.”
(c) Arnold D. Cribari 2013
