Westchester Divorce Lawyer – Arnold D. Cribari

Category: Divorce

Mediation and Collaborative Divorce can work for High-Conflict Couples

There is a myth out there that the only way to resolve a high-conflict divorce is to go to court. Actually, mediation and collaborative divorce – in the hands of skilled conflict resolution professionals – can be much better routes for many high-conflict cases. This is especially true for divorces in Westchester County, New York. High-conflict cases usually encompass so many assets and issues – it can be monumentally expensive and time-consuming for the court to resolve every issue. When I say time-consuming, I mean not just months –it can be years! Westchester County, in particular, has a tremendous backlog of divorce cases in the courts. Moreover, the Westchester County divorce courts require attorneys to prepare an elaborate trial notebook, which can cost clients many “billable hours.” The courts are steeped in the adversarial system. In a high-conflict situation, adversarial negotiations function like pouring gasoline on a fire. The non-adversarial … Read More...

Westchester Divorce Advice for High Net-Worth Individuals

High net-worth individuals need to be savvy when looking for a Westchester divorce lawyer. Indeed, all consumers need to be well informed if they are seeking a divorce attorney. That said, high net-worth individuals are especially vulnerable to potential exploitation by attorneys who are eager to generate many “billable hours.” Here are some things to consider when researching and interviewing divorce attorneys. • For most high net worth individuals, collaborative divorce is probably your best option. It is much less expensive than a traditional litigated divorce (divorce through the court system). And since most litigated divorces are settled “on the courthouse steps” so to speak, why not start out with the specific goal of getting a good settlement? • If you are interviewing an attorney who has a reputation as a litigator, what do they say about your options? Do they mention collaborative and mediation as possible alternatives? If not, … Read More...

The Art of Balance in Collaborative Divorce

The flexibility and fluidity of the collaborative divorce process corrects power imbalances in the divorcing couple’s relationship and negotiations. It does this by – • Providing each spouse with the advice and support of a divorce attorney whose sole agenda item is to make a good settlement in which the needs and interests of his/her client, and, ideally, those of the other spouse, are fulfilled. • There is a fluid and flexible spectrum of advocacy in collaborative law. During negotiations the well-trained and experienced collaborative lawyer is fully prepared and knows in advance what is most important to his client. Moreover, the attorney has done his/her best to empower the client so those needs and concerns are articulated during the settlement conference. • If the client, for any reason, does not fully articulate those needs and interests during the four-way meetings (both spouses and their attorneys present), then it is … Read More...

Choose to Divorce with Dignity

Choosing to divorce with dignity through a collaborative divorce is easier said than done. The verb “choose” implies that the person doing the choosing is making a “free” choice. Yet – unless the divorcing person is a robot or from the planet Vulcan – there are likely to be emotional factors that impinge on a divorcing person’s ability to choose freely. When someone has been hurt deeply by the person they once loved, the ability to make a rational decision is clouded by pain, sadness and anger. The word “collaborative” may raise some emotional red flags. The very idea of choosing to embark on a collaborative process with the person who hurt you may feel too vulnerable. Or, the concept may feel unjust. So – to make a decision in your own best interests – it is important to learn something about collaborative before rejecting it out of hand. And … Read More...

Article on Collaborative Law Featured in the Huffington Post

Collaborative divorce seems to be entering the mainstream. A recent blog post in the Huffington Post provides an excellent overview of collaborative law. When reading it, however, keep in mind that every state in the U.S. can be like a different country when it comes to divorce law AND attorney qualifications. New York has no lawyer specialty certifications. A law license in New York authorizes an attorney with no experience or knowledge beyond what it takes to pass the bar exam to practice any specialty he or she chooses. When choosing collaborative divorce lawyer in New York State, one should ask a prospective attorney how many years of experience he/she has practicing collaborative law, how much rigorous training he/she has had in collaborative skills, to what group(s) of collaborative divorce professionals does he/she belong, and what are the training requirements for membership in said group(s). With that caveat in mind, … Read More...

Why do a Prenuptial Agreement: Part 2

Prenuptial agreements typically address issues that would, otherwise, be decided by a judge in divorce court. Agreements can settle one or more of the following subjects: how assets (and debts) will be distributed during the marriage, and/or in the event of a death or a divorce each spouse’s entitlement to maintenance (i.e. alimony), including the amount and period of time of an alimony award each spouse’s right to property (whether owned individually or as a couple) each spouse’s right to buy, lease, sell, transfer or otherwise control property each spouse’s rights and responsibility in a family business each spouse’s right to death benefits from the other’s life insurance policy the state law which governs the agreement, or any other issue the couple agrees upon. Couples have a good deal of freedom in creating prenuptial agreements. There are, however, some issues that a “pre-nup” cannot cover. For example, an agreement cannot … Read More...

Why do a Prenuptial Agreement? Part 1

Many engaged couples use prenuptial agreements. Rather than a sure path to divorce, a prenuptial agreement can help a couple communicate about finances and child-rearing thereby preventing some arguments during the marriage. A prenuptial agreement is a contract between future spouses that settles issues of property and support in the event of death or divorce. In New York, a prenuptial agreement is made before the marriage and will take effect on the date of the marriage. “Prenups” must be in writing and signed by both future spouses and duly acknowledged before a notary public. (An oral prenup or an unsigned agreement won’t be upheld in court.) Who Should Get a Prenuptial Agreement? The rich and famous aren’t the only ones who need prenups. A single parent might want a prenup to protect her child’s inheritance. In some circumstances, a spouse may want to keep a family home or a business … Read More...

Affordable Divorce: Make a Prenuptial Agreement

Do you want to avoid paying a divorce lawyer in the future tens – maybe hundreds – of thousands of dollars? Consider making a prenuptial (before the marriage) or post-nuptial (after the marriage) agreement. The legal fees for such an agreement are a very small fraction of the legal fees that would be generated by a case in divorce court. No one should enter a marriage without making a whole-hearted commitment. Nevertheless, the reality is that almost half of marriages end in divorce. So, say “I do” with a sincere, heartfelt commitment, but – at the same time – be realistic and prepare for the possibility of a divorce. An iron clad prenuptial agreement can resolve all division of property issues as well as alimony/maintenance issues that would arise in the event of a divorce. The only unresolved issues could be child support and other issues related to children born … Read More...

How to Get an Affordable Divorce in Westchester: Part 3

If there is great conflict and/or power imbalances between you and your spouse, keeping your divorce affordable will be a challenge. The most affordable divorce processes, mediation and “kitchen table” divorces are not for you. It also may mean that collaborative divorce is not an option. But it still may be possible to keep costs within reason. You  may be tempted to look for the meanest, most aggressive courtroom lawyer (litigator) you can find. But, if affordability is an issue, do you want someone who will add exponentially to the “billable hours” you will have to pay for? It may be counter-intuitive, but consider hiring an experienced litigator who also has considerable training and experience in mediation and collaborative divorce. Why?  Because such a litigator has more skills in his/her negotiating toolbox, than the old school divorce “bomber.”  Old school divorce negotiation tactics usually exacerbate conflict, leading to months of … Read More...

How to Get an Affordable Divorce in Westchester: Part 2

As discussed in our prior blog post, the most affordable ways to divorce in Westchester County, NY, are the “kitchen table” divorce and mediation. Nevertheless, even if there are many points of disagreement and/or a power imbalance between you and your spouse, your divorce doesn’t have to break the bank. Collaborative divorce is another affordable option. A collaborative divorce can be a very good choice for couples in which there are some power imbalances in their relationship. Maybe one spouse has a stronger will than the other, is more articulate than the other, and/or has more money and information than the other spouse. Collaborative divorce also tends to be a better choice than mediation for complex divorce cases involving millions of dollars of assets and seven figure incomes. When considering what divorce process to choose, you might want to compare the divorce court to the operating room in medicine. Such … Read More...